“You Should….”

It’s hard to start a sentence with “You should” -unless it’s a response to someone telling you something they already thought of, that they want to do, and you are just encouraging them. “I was thinking of calling my gramma in Wisconsin” - “You should!”

But starting with it COLD is tough. Im going to try for 15 minutes.

-You should, when you are at a party, look for someone who isn’t talking to anyone and talk to them for a few minutes. Maybe it’s the shy teenage son, or an older person. Don’t just talk to the popular attractive people who are already convivial. Spread the party atmosphere into the corners where it hasn’t penetrated yet. Ask them if they have any bird feeders and what type of seed they put in them. Going to a party is never just about having fun, it’s a responsibility to the community to bring the edges of the social circle a little closer to the center. You can see what a drag it is to be me haha!

You should always stand a few feet back from the baggage claim so that people can see and collect their bags, you should never have your knees right up against it. I made this mistake once and someone reprimanded me, and they were correct, I see that now.

You should stand in front of a painting that you like for a long time. Let’s say it’s Sargent’s “Madame X” - you shouldn’t just glance at it and say “Yep…there it is!” Like Chevy Chase at the Grand Canyon. You should look at the edges of it, how it looks from far away and close up. You should notice how small or large the brushstrokes are. Even if you aren’t a painter you should because you are standing before greatness. You should imagine Sargent, with a cheese sandwich in one hand and a paintbrush in the other and the strap falls from her shoulder and his left eyebrow raises.

If you like a song or a record, you should go to the shop and buy a copy. Or amazon. You should buy the vinyl. Buy one for a friend. If you don’t have a turntable you should get one. Even the cheap ones can sound great! And it’s a great experience to sit with a record and take it in. Take in the thing someone that you like took the time to make.

You should spend some time writing with pen and paper. You should send things in the mail to people out of the blue, like books or a nice postcard of an Edward Hopper painting. You should have some stamps in your bag. You should have a fountain pen, even though they are inconvenient.

If you find something you like, like a pair of pants or a shirt, you should get 2.

You should spend money. You will find more if you run out.

You should have a psychedelic experience or 2. A bird will encounter fermented berries from time to time and be drunk and relax a bit.

You should quit drinking if every time you drink you annoy people or your wife.

You should never ask couples how they met. You should never ask someone how they are doing. This is one I know some people will disagree with. But I find that to be a withering question I personally never know how to answer because I’m alright, but I’m always one step ahead of crippling anxiety and depression and I don’t want to look over my shoulder which is what I do if someone asks me how I’m doing. Ask them to tell you something they want to do before they die. If you need to make idle chit chat, the weather is one I really enjoy. It’s a metaphor for the weather inside and it can be a way for people to describe their current relationship to the world. “I can’t stand this heat a minute more!” “Oh really? I’m from Arizona so I’m a lizard and I like it!” I love talking about the weather.

If you are crossing at a crosswalk and someone stops, you should wave at them and hurry a bit across.

You should tip more than 15 percent. If you have a windfall you should pick up the bill at a restaurant dinner party. If you are rich you should pick it up every time. Unless some other rich person beats you to it. Even if someone else pays, if you have any cash, you should leave a tip.

You should talk to the taxi or uber driver a little bit about how busy the night has been. If they want to talk, unless you have a headache or some other debilitation, you should listen. You can be annoyed, but you shouldn’t ignore them completely like an entitled snob. You can play them a song - say “Do you mind if I play a song?” And they will hand you an aux cable, you can play “The Blue Danube Waltz” by Strauss and it will turn the ride into a psychedelic experience. You could also play “Driving My Life Away” by Eddie Rabbit, which could be amazing, but it might make them uncomfortable and you don’t want to do that.

You should crack open books you have already read that were great and read a page or 2 randomly. “A Confederacy of Dunces” is gold on every page.

If someone has an incorrect political opinion, you should contemplate what happened to them that caused them to feel that way about the world, that it’s full of hostile illegal aliens or that people that look differently to them are the enemy, you should look at them and treat them the way you would treat someone who is sick. With kindness and compassion. Offer them some soup and a cup of tea. There is a war going on inside them and they cannot see through the smoke on the battlefield. Someone set a hate trap for them and they fell into it. They have been robbed of one of the essential happinesses of life - joy felt for someone else. You can’t heal them but at least you can show them the same kindness you would show someone who is correct. Treating them coldly and disrespectfully will only prove their suspicions that people look down on them and further entrench them in that belief. You shouldn’t spend too much time doing this, only when absolutely necessary.

Okay. That’s all I got for now.